This is the first story in a special holiday series celebrating altruists in our midst. Know a neighborhood helper who deserves a shout out? Email us at editorial@arlingtonmagazine.com.
Kindness begets kindness. Help begets help. That’s what one resident of Arlington’s Penrose neighborhood has discovered on her decade-plus journey as a self-proclaimed “kindness activist.” It’s a path that would lead to a year-long journey of intrigue—and a mystery friendship across the nation.
Susan Thompson-Gaines didn’t set out to be a kindness activist. It all started shortly after she and her husband, David, moved into a yellow house on a busy Arlington street corner in January of 2000. The home with the big wraparound porch is at a stoplight near Thomas Jefferson Middle School. It gets a lot of foot and car traffic.
“We love the busyness,” says Thompson-Gaines. “We love the feeling of people walking by. We talk to people all day, every day. You know, people honk and wave as they drive by because they know us now. I realized that the location was something we should celebrate.”
They began putting little projects outside their house, inviting community members to participate: a camera to take pictures that would later be displayed; a Thanksgiving board with sticky notes where people could share what they were thankful for.
The enthusiastic response from neighbors is just part of what inspired Thompson-Gaines, who works as an ASL interpreter, to start what she calls a life-changing experiment. In 2015, she founded Kindness Activist, a website for sharing stories and acts of kindness she sees in the world around her. She wanted to see if openly talking about kindness would help spread it and create what she calls “ripples of kindness.” The result, she says, was a resounding yes.
Walk by that porch today and you’re likely to see warm clothes for those who need them, surprises and treats for youngsters, celebrations of holidays—from Eid to Christmas to Valentine’s Day—and free food in the couple’s “Little Yellow Pantry.” (It’s like the Little Free Libraries people put out for books, but with food instead.) All of these efforts are run with a squadron of kindness volunteers and “elves” who help with a variety of missions.
One of Thompson-Gaines’ biggest events is coming up after Thanksgiving on Nov. 26: The Kindness Boutique, in which donated items will be sold to fund a year’s worth of kindness acts. Those who stop by and shop can have their purchases wrapped at a gift wrapping station and enjoy a cup of hot cocoa and community camaraderie. This year, the boutique replaces Thompson Gaines’ annual yard sale fundraiser, which was rained out twice in the fall. Proceeds from past sales have been used to purchase clothes for a newborn, to pay for people’s groceries at the supermarket, and to provide a sleeping bag for a person without housing. The sale will also support her upcoming Santa Project.
About that project: There’s a letter-writing station outside Thompson-Gaines’ house this time of year, equipped with crayons, pencils and paper, and a mailbox that goes straight to the North Pole. Each letter is personally answered by Santa himself, and each letter-writer receives a gift, which appears under a tree on her porch. This project is not necessarily needs-based—it’s just to spread joy.
“This [gift] is a special one because it’s coming from Santa Claus,” she says, “and [the kids] really, really believe it. It’s so fun to watch them.”
Since its inception four years ago, the Santa Project has grown from about 100 letters the first year to more than 200. Volunteers get together for “elf sessions” and wrap more than 400 gifts. In years past, Thompson-Gaines funded all those gifts with proceeds from the yard sale. But last year she made a change that would lead to the biggest mystery act of kindness she has experienced.
“I realized that many many people in Arlington, and really all across the country, want to get involved with things. They want to help. They want to be kind, but they don’t sometimes have an outlet for it,” she says. “So I made an Amazon wish list for the Santa Project and shared it, thinking maybe instead of using kindness funds on this one project, other people would want to pitch in, and— oh, my goodness, everybody wants to help.”
Everybody, including the biggest donor Thompson-Gaines has encountered to date—a person who insisted on keeping her identity secret. The mystery Amazon donor, who signed with the pseudonym E.A. Raven, started by granting several children’s wishes for the Santa Project, then continued to give generously and frequently to the Little Yellow Free Pantry.
Thompson-Gaines struck up a friendship with the mystery donor, whom she calls the “patron saint of Kindness Activist,” by sending mini thank-you notes on Amazon gift slips. With each donation, E.A. Raven would include a gift message. Thompson-Gaines had no way to communicate back, except to send electronic thank you notes through Amazon, which the online retailer limits to just a few words.
She says she and her fellow helpers became somewhat obsessed with uncovering the identity of the mystery helper. She asked several times for a name and address to send thank you gifts, to no avail. Several internet sleuthing attempts yielded no leads.
“The mystery was part of the allure,” Thompson-Gaines later wrote in her blog. “Not knowing who she was somehow made the boxes and boxes that arrived full of donations even more special.”
One summer day, E.A. Raven explained on an Amazon gift slip that the food donations might stop for a while because she had to go in for a medical procedure. They stopped for a month. Then, a few scattered donations arrived with a note from E.A. explaining that she was now in rehab and having trouble sending things.
At the end of October, Thompson-Gaines got an email from another stranger, E.A. Raven’s sister, who broke the news: “My sister loved donating items to your charity. Sadly she passed a week ago. I wanted to inform you so that you understand why she stopped donating.”
It turns out those kindness ripples had made it all the way to the Midwest, where E.A. Raven (whose identity and location Thompson-Gaines is still keeping secret to honor her wishes) had somehow learned of the work of the Kindness Activist—perhaps through a 2021 article in The Washington Post.
E.A. Raven had one of Thompson-Gaines’ Amazon thank you notes on her refrigerator, along with a photo of volunteers at the Little Yellow Pantry. Thompson-Gaines found herself grieving for a stranger she’d never met, who had fed so many people in Arlington.
“It amazes me how much need there is in our community,” says Thompson-Gaines, who refills her free pantry multiple times a day. “The assumption is that it’s people who don’t have housing, that those are the people who don’t have food. That’s the stereotype. But it’s not. It’s people who stop by on their way home from work. They have a job. They’re making money, but it’s not enough to live in Arlington.”
She also has an Amazon wish list for the Little Yellow Pantry. Anyone can donate food items at any time.
This is a busy time of year at Thompson-Gaines house, known locally as the “Kind House.”
The Kindness Boutique will be held Nov. 26 from noon-4 p.m. at the corner of S. Fillmore and 2nd St. S. in Arlington. The Santa Project starts the day after. The kindness activist needs elves to help buy and wrap gifts for children.
Starting Dec. 1, Thompson-Gaines and her husband, David, will also have a life-size advent calendar (made by David) on their front porch. A crew of volunteers will wrap gifts to be placed inside the advent calendar, which has been known to receive more than 50 visitors a day. (The same colorful 3D calendar is used to count down to other holidays throughout the year.)
In January, Project Warmth will begin, and a rack of warm coats, hats and gloves will be displayed in their yard for anyone who needs one.
“Arlington County is such a wealthy county. People are paying millions of dollars for homes, thousands of dollars for rent,” Thompson-Gaines says. “And there are people without warm coats, without mittens, without hats without food. These projects, like Project Warmth and the pantry, have really hit home to me, and to the people who are involved—how much disparity there is in our community.”
For more information about Kindness Activist projects or to learn how you can get involved, check out Thompson-Gaines’ website and blog. Or just stop by for a chat.